a short story

I skipped my work out. I went home. I had run out of gas right at the end. My knee hurts, I told myself, whatever. There is always an excuse when you want one.

It is always a struggle.

I stopped at the grocers on the way home. Four self serve checkouts open, four different customers checking out. I didn't pay any attention to any of them. I scanned my fruits and nuts and headed for the truck.

I putzed around for a while, had to find something in my gym bag. One of those other customers came out, got in his little silver truck and drove off.

I left my space, drove to the exit. Across the street sat that little truck. I got a kind of a funny feeling when I saw him sitting there.

I headed for the light and that little truck pulled in behind me.

I made a left and started doing some math in my head, what are the chances of someone going the same way as I am. He didn’t turn off when he had a chance. Odds of this being a coincidence are decreasing.

I went down the main street and turned left at my shortcut, he followed, and the odds change again.

I quit my route home and made another left, so did he. Okay, there are new houses up here maybe that is where he is headed.

I sped down the street, it took me back to a road I had already passed, and he followed.

I had to wait for some traffic before I could turn. I made a right and headed for the freeway ramp, so did he.

Okay, he is following, but he sucks at it. I’ll try to lose him here, I went eighty, and I got stuck behind two cars running side by side. Finally by I went over the hill and down to the exit ramp, I can just barely see his head lights in my mirror. Up the off ramp, stop, right turn, floor it, this machine needs a tune up. I caught the light at route forty just right, sailed through it. Going up an incline now, road bends to the right, he’s far behind, he can’t see me now.

Hard on the brakes, right turn up a side road, if I get over this next incline he won’t be able to see me at all. Just before I reached the summit, headlights turn onto the road behind me. How does he do that?

Down down down through the wicked darkness. Hard right back into town at the end of this road. In amongst the houses again, left at the stop, another stop, another stop, turn right so he can’t see my taillights. Left on forty, right at the main intersection, there’s a cop in the convenience store, should have stopped.

Down the street I go, this is the same street I was on when I left my route. Right again at the stop, this time blow by the freeway ramp, should I duck into the truck stop?

Kept going, should have stopped, driving through this town, watching, wary, alone. Past the police station, someone inside, should have stopped.

Ducked down my street, there are no headlights behind me, clear clear clear.

Pulled into the lot across from the house and parked in the shadows of my neighbor’s bigger truck.

I am not a warrior. I am like most people, when faced with danger I am self-conscious. “I could get hurt here.”

Fear comes naturally; it got there before I could stop it. Decisive action right at the start would have saved me from all that fun driving. In situations that happen suddenly, decisive action is called for, not being of two minds.

Fear keeps most of us from doing what needs to be done. Face your fear everyday, face it when you work out, face it when you deal with people, face it every way you can. It is like building any other skill. Practice makes perfect.

And watch out for little silver trucks.